Be Google, be me.

Be Google
Have more data than God
Sell ads like my life depends on it (because it does)
Know what you want before you do
"Don’t be evil" lol
AI overlord in the making
Everyone hates me, but everyone needs me
Incognito mode doesn’t mean what you think it does
Still somehow not as bad as Facebook
Get fined billions, make trillions
Life’s good

Be me
Just trying to Google something real quick
Autocomplete: Did you mean something completely unrelated?
First five results: Ads, ads, ads, SEO garbage, Reddit post from 2012
Scroll past 3 pages of AI-generated slop
Finally find what I need... on page 8
Click link
"Accept all cookies" or fight for my life
Close pop-ups, dodge newsletter signup, decline notifications
Site loads... AI summary at the top tells me nothing useful
Rage quit
Ask ChatGPT instead
This is my life now